


slow dancing in the dark

by ohheck



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, High School, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Richie Tozier, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, School Dances, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohheck/pseuds/ohheck
Summary: Richie just wants to slow dance with Eddie.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	slow dancing in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my google docs for months now, finished but never edited, so I decided to just brush up a few parts and post it. Sorry if it seems rushed, it's not my best work but I miss these boys and have a BUNCH of wips so I figured might as well post the one that's finished teehee I hope you enjoy!!

Today’s the day. 

Today’s the day, Richie thinks. The school dance finally rolled around and times up. He’s going to tell Eddie how he really feels. No, he needs to tell Eddie how he feels. This confession is long overdue. It’s the last year of high school. If anything goes wrong, he probably won’t see Eddie until college and everyone knows it’s harder to see childhood friends in college anyway. Whatever the outcome, Richie has already foreseen ways to avoid facing the humiliation that comes with rejection. 

Richie pushes past the two swing doors and enters the decorated gymnasium. He immediately spots the losers across the floor, sitting at a table chatting away. They all seem to be enjoying each other’s company rather than the actual dance itself. Richie, dramatic as he is, takes a deep breath and heads over to the group. 

“Woah, look who cleaned up!” Stan beams. A smile mirrors onto Richie’s face. 

“Thank you Staniel. You look rather dashing yourself, my good sir,” Richie compliments in a hint of a posh accent. 

“Your clothes are actually matching today, major improvement,” Bev jokes with a grin on her face. 

“I only take after the very best fashion experts, Ms. Marsh,” Richie bows, keeping his charade. 

“No seriously, you look really good Rich,” Eddie says timidly. The sincerity makes Richie’s heart melt a little. It’s comments like these that make Richie wish he properly asked Eddie to the dance rather than chickening out and asking the entire group if they planned on attending. Honestly, none of them were planning to except for Beverly, who very excitedly pleaded the rest of the boys to come along.

“Your compliments are very much appreciated! I’m truly honored you hired me as your male escort,” Richie plops down in the seat next Eddie, wrapping an arm on his shoulder. 

“Shut up, I’m trying to be nice!” Eddie fires back as he slouches under Richie’s arm. 

“Thanks Eds,” Richie catches his voice getting soft and diverts it by continuing, “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Richie wishes he could just accept the compliment normally but it almost makes him uncomfortable. As if he was being fed a lie and is supposed to believe it without refuting. However, the slight blush dusted on Eddie’s cheeks makes the diversion worth it, even if he did try to cover it up with one of his voices. Little details about Eddie’s reaction almost gives him the courage he needs to ask Eddie to dance with him. He’s been pondering the thought all day, debating if he’s actually going to be able to go through with it. Doubt heavily fills his mind but it would be nice to have the freedom to do so. 

“Richie fucking tozier? Here again, I see. Didn't I already tell you that Derry is no place for fairies like you?” He heard a voice from afar. Henry stalked closer in view. A horrible shallow feeling floods his chest. It felt like being drowned in absolutely nothing. Memories of the last encounter with Bowers abruptly enter his mind. Nothing was even happening. Richie wasn’t even entirely sure what could have possibly led Connor to believe that he was gay! All he did was offer another game? Was it that obvious? Maybe, right now, it was a little more obvious.

Richie jerked his arm off Eddie and stood up, ready to make an escape. Although he wished it was to stand up for himself. Richie looked to both sides, wondering what the hell to do. The losers are shouting insults towards Bowers, insisting for him to leave, in the background but Richie can’t seem to focus on what they’re exactly saying. His mind blanks on jokes and scapegoats. He knows it’s in his best interest to fight back, but there’s no fucking way he’ll win this one. 

“Answer me!”

“Y-yeah,” Richie sputters, mentally palming himself for sounding so weak. What the fuck is Bowers even doing at a school dance anyway?

“So what are you still doing here, huh? Don’t you know a gay boy is a dead boy?”

The words breathe cold air into Richie’s body. His relationship with his sexuality wasn’t the healthiest and hearing those words just makes him wish he knew the answer as to why he is still here. Richie can’t even say the words in his own mind, yet he constantly hears everyone around him spit the words in face in disgust. People begin to slowly turn their attention to the terrified boy in the middle of the dance floor as Bowers continues to pester him. He can hear his friends whispering behind, filling his chest with dread. He didn’t even want to know why they stopped defending him or what they were saying about him. 

“Get out of here faggot!”

Richie stood there, frozen. The words echo in his head. He knows he should move. He wishes that he could move. Every pair of eyes that are on him burn like the sun, willing him to move into the shadow where he can’t be seen. He doesn’t want to be seen. 

“Are you fucking deaf? I said move!” The volume of the voice is suddenly getting louder and clearer. Richie’s eyes widen in realization that Henry is now actually coming for him. He snaps out of his weird trance and books it to the nearest safe space. 

The two gym doors are pushed wide open. Richie turns back to see Bowers hot on his heels, the other boy’s face full of pure rage and disgust. It really looked like Henry was going to beat him to a pulp for simply existing. Fearful of his fate, Richie makes a beeline to the classroom next to the gymnasium and locks the door once inside. 

There’s a loud bang on the door as soon as he turns the lock, causing his grip to tighten on the knob. 

“I know you’re in there Tozier! Open up!” Henry shouts as the banging becomes more rapid. 

Tears fall hot onto Richie’s cheek. He tries to fight back a pathetic whimper but it escapes nonetheless. His grip loosens and his hand starts to shake. The door shakes with the relentless banging and yanking from the other side. Richie turns to put his back against the door since his hands have proven to be useless at this point. 

“Don’t think you’re getting away with this! You can hide in the closet all you fucking want, but you can’t hide from me forever and once I get to you, you’re dead!”

Richie scrunches his eyes closed, a few tears overflowing. He wishes he could be out of the closet. He wishes he didn’t have a reason to hide in the closet. Richie wasn’t sure if he wanted to accept himself or if he wanted to repress himself. All he knew is that he’s tired of hiding. 

“You hear me!” Bowers bangs on the door once more. The knob begins to jingle and shake. Richie eyes shoot open as he remembers that Bowers carries his fucking stupid knife everywhere and is most likely trying to pick the lock with it. He leans all of his weight to the side as he grips the lock desperately, hoping that he can manage to keep the door shut despite his shaky hands. 

“Mr. Bowers! What exactly do you think you’re doing?” A voice shouts, presumably one of the teachers who’s supposed to be “supervising” the dance. 

“What’s it to you?” Bowers bites back. 

“Breaking and entering is a serious crime! What are you planning to do once you get inside, Huh? Steal? You’re always up to no good. How have you not been expelled?!” The voices move further away. Richie lets out a sigh in relief as the voices continue to move further down the hall. 

Richie slumps against the door, letting his body slide down to finally rest on the floor. The shaky breaths soon lead to hitching then sobbing. He feels his pupils that were once blown wide finally reduce in size. 

All he wanted was one night. One night where he can be with Eddie and tell him how he feels. Things were going great until he was roughly reminded why that would be a bad idea. Now he’s alone in an empty classroom while the gymnasium is full of- very straight- couples, who get to love each other with no consequences, right next to him. 

Meanwhile, the darkness of the classroom envelopes him like fog draping over the woods. The voices in his head get louder and louder. The feeling of not being worthy of love is more pronounced than ever. Richie knows that there’s nothing wrong with loving someone, so what’s so wrong about it when that someone happens to be a boy? 

Although he doesn’t know the answer, Richie can’t help but feel like it is wrong. Yet, he can’t help but to love his best friend full heartedly. Richie is so infatuated with love and admiration that it physically hurts his chest and contorts real facial expressions just at the thought of how much he really fucking loves Eddie. 

Eddie is always the one to look out for him. He’s the one who laughs at Richie’s jokes, even though he claims that’s they’re stupid. Richie knows he doesn’t mean it given the fact that Eddie couldn’t get through the sentence without letting a giggle slip through. God, he loved the feeling of making Eddie laugh. There’s just something about knowing the fact that he caused that beautiful smile. Eddie always makes him feel so validated and wanted. Always shows Richie that he’s listening when no one else is. Whether he does it intentionally or not, Richie fucking lives for it. 

Sometimes he can’t help but wonder, does he deserve it? Richie isn’t sure. What makes him worthy of it? Sure, the losers know his favorite music taste, favorite actor, favorite movie/genre, favorite comic, but do they know why? Does anybody even care what the reason is? That the reason Richie loves classic rock so much is because his dad plays it on the radio every Saturday morning while his mom makes breakfast. Or that Richie loves Rich Little because his dad had introduced him to “The Man of a Thousand Voices” when he was younger. Do they even know he’s the inspiration for his own impressions? Do they know that those two things are the only things that he and his dad have in common, which is why his personality is centered around those two things? Or that he craves attention because his mom doesn’t understand him as much as she’d like to? Is he even worth being paid attention that closely to detail? Richie Tozier is no work of art. He is not something that somebody would closely criticitique and create theories on why he is the way is. He’s that weird painting you see in the museum and wonder what drugs the artist was on because it just looks like an absolute mess of colors. 

Suddenly, two soft knocks interrupt his thoughts. Richies breath catches in his throat. 

“Rich? Are you in there? It’s Eddie.” God, hearing his voice makes Richie’s heart melt and break at the same time, leaving him with a mess in his chest. A sad smile paints itself on his face. The thought that Eddie came to check up on him alone fills Richie’s chest with such adoration for the boy. 

He hastily wipes his face dry, taking a few deep breaths to recover. Finally, he opens the door just a smidge so that Eddie can see that part of his face. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Richie plasters a fake smile, his wavering voice giving him away. He feels the urge to cry all over again, willing himself to not let his eyes get glossy in front of Eddie. He doesn’t want Eddie to see him like that. 

Eddie pushes past Richie and closes the door behind him. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Richie’s voice cracks. He feels the hot tears well up in his eyes and drops his head in defeat. He feels a pair of arms wrap around his torso, pulling him in for a hug. 

Richie melts into the embrace as if his life depended on it. At this point, he really does feel like his life depended on it. Eddie is the only thing holding him down. He loves Eddie with his entire heart and Eddie will never get to know how much that is. 

The sobs shake his entire body forcefully as they leave his mouth. Tears are flowing out three at a time. Everything looks like it’s underwater and he feels like he’s drowning. 

But then he feels a hand rub his back soothingly, calming the violent waves. He hears a voice sweetly remind him that he’s going to be okay. And suddenly, everything feels a little lighter. 

“It’s okay to not be okay Rich. You don’t have to hide it from me,” Eddie says as he pulls away from the hug, wiping Richie’s tears from his cheeks. 

Richie nods solemnly, “I know. I just… it’s a lot. It’s easier for me to say that I’m fine then to explain myself.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to tell me unless you want to. Just tell me how you really feel instead of brushing it off, okay? I’m here for you,” Eddie’s words and voice comfort Richie more than anything or anyone could. 

“Thank you… I’m just upset, ya know? Because that’s not how I wanted you to find out. God, that is the absolute worst way I wanted you to find out.”

“What do you mean?”

“That I’m… you know… That I’m gay. Bisexual. Whatever. That’s not how I wanted it to happen.”

“Wait. So, you are?” Eddie genuinely asks.

Richie feels his heart drop, taking everything in his chest down with it. He hangs his head, ready to be hit with the backlash. He could easily lie, but Eddie would see right through him. “Y-yeah. I think? I mean I’m pretty sure. If you guys don’t want to be friends with me, I get it. Just please leave me alone. I really don’t need to be harassed about it more than I already get-” 

Eddie suddenly grabs Richie’s face. Before Richie can even process the fact that Eddie is pulling his face in, he feels a pair of soft lips against his. Eddie nearly pulls away but Richie leans back in to properly kiss him back and it feels right. All the time worrying that he’d feel wrong and dirty for kissing a boy was wasted. He feels blissful. Richie feels similar to the day the losers laid on the grass and listened to music as the sunset, just enjoying each other’s presence. It was insane that he can feel so happy just from a simple kiss. The sly grin plastered on Eddie’s face when they finally part must mean he feels the same way.

“You’re stupid.” Eddie replies simply, “Rich, we’re all losers who get bullied regardless. This isn’t going to change anything.” Richie just stares in both shock and awe from the kiss.

“Wait does that mean… Do you-? You’re…? And you-” Richie tries to string a single sentence together but his brain still feels hazed. Too much is happening at once. He was just crying his eyes out a second ago and now he feels like he’s floating on clouds.

“What? Spit it out doofus,” Eddie playfully smacks his arm. 

Richie pauses to think of what he should ask first, finally landing with, “You’re gay too?”

“I wouldn’t have kissed you if I wasn’t,” Eddie teases, no venom behind his words. 

“So does that mean you like me back?” Richie asks sheepishly, feeling like an elementary school kid admitting to a crush. 

“No, Richie. I just kiss any boy I see,” Eddie drips with sarcasm, yet Richie stares at him blankly, “Of course I like you, idiot!”

Richie drops his head in embarrassment, letting out a relieved laugh. “What about the rest of them? Did they still want to be friends? I heard them whispering behind me when he… called me out.” 

“Of course they do! They weren’t saying anything bad. We all kind of caught on that you might be gay the first time he said it. Bill is a bit slow and didn’t realize until the second time so Stan was trying to catch him up even though none of us knew for sure. They were mostly wondering why you didn’t tell them. They felt like you didn’t trust us but I told them that you probably weren’t ready. Oh! If you don’t want me to tell them, I totally understand by the way.”  
“Yeah, I think I’d rather tell them myself. Have you told them? Was I left out?” Richie tries to joke.

Eddie shakes his head no, “You’re the first to know. Maybe we could tell them together.”

Eddie grabbed a hold of Richie’s hand. Richie smiled, “I think I’d like that.”

“Come here,” Eddie says softly, gently lifting Richie’s chin. Their lips are met with a different passion from the first. This one, more tender, more emotional. It felt intimate. Many unspoken words are being exchanged. Words of compassion, sympathy, relief. Almost as if they were saying “I love you. I care for you. I’m glad you feel the same.” For some reason, Richie can’t seem to help but feel sorrowful. The tears wound up in his eyes once again. He wills himself to blink it away but the tears end up being squeezed out instead. Eddie must’ve felt it against his cheek as he pulls away. 

“What’s wrong?” Eddie wipes Richie’s tears tenderly, eyes full of worry. Embarrassed once again, Richie wipes his nose. 

“I don’t know why I’m crying, honestly. I’m happy,” Richie lies. He knows the real reason. He just doesn’t want to scare Eddie off by telling him how he truly feels about him. 

“Are you sure? You can tell me anything,” Eddie reassures him, rubbing his arm. Richie stays silent for a moment, gathering his words in his mind to the best of ability. None of it is even close to being coherent. Letting out a deep sigh, Richie just begins to talk and hopes he lands in the destination he imagines. 

“I just love you a lot, okay? I’m sorry if this is way too soon but I needed to tell you. I want to be able to tell everyone. I want to be able to kiss you like this publicly. To let everyone know that I love you, but I can’t. It’s not fair. All I wanted tonight was to be able to have a fun high school experience like in the movies. I wanted to dance with my best friend that I fell in love with. But John Hughes isn’t directing my life. It’s not fair that everyone in there gets to slow dance with their crush and you’re here in a dark classroom with a loser who can’t stop fucking crying.” Richie inhales shakily, trying his best to catch his breath. Eddie pulls him into the warmest and tightest embrace. 

“Richie, I rather be here, in this dark classroom, with you then be in there with the true losers and not be able to kiss you. All I ever wanted was you and now I have you. This is more than I could even ask for. I don’t think you understand how much I love you.” Eddie pulls away to look Richie in the eye for the last sentence. 

“You love me?” Richie repeats breathlessly, not believing the words to be true and spoken from the one he loves the most. 

“More than you’ll ever know,” Eddie nods in reassurement. A smile bursts onto Richie’s face, feeling warmth take over in his chest. “I don’t care if we’re shamelessly public or incredibly secretive. As long as I get to love you, I’ll be happy.” 

Richie nods, feeling a bit better. The muffled intro to True by Spandau Ballet is heard through the thin walls. Eddie continues with “Plus, we can still dance.”

“Maybe John Hughes directed my life after all,” Richie teases. Eddie snorts then wraps his arms around Richie’s neck and rests his cheek on his shoulder. Richie follows lead and places his hands tenderly on his waist, slowly beginning to sway them to the beat of the muffled ballad playing in the gymnasium. 

In that moment, he realizes Eddie is right. He feels so delighted to dance with the boy he’s loved for years. This interaction beats any cliche 80’s teen romcom. This is his own romance movie; he’s the star. That’s what makes it so astonishing. With the warmth of Eddie’s body so close to him, Richie finally understands what people mean when they say “I’m so happy, I could burst!” His heart is so full of love. It’s nice to have someone love you back. He had no idea that love could feel so good. Love doesn’t have to hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I only know how to write angsty school dance aus hahshkjasd I do have a super short epilogue where Richie stands up for himself tho!! might finish/post it if this does good


End file.
